Change... I can't even think of how many songs, poems, plays, novels, artistic representations of any kind use this as a central theme. It's so prevalent, yet it's so difficult to cope with at the same time. Since the last post (which, admittedly, has been much, much longer than I can even come up with a reason for) many, many changes have occurred. And, with the "change" comes the "coping." Let's see... I'm sure there are a plethora of examples I can come up with for this, but let's go with this one, from Avenue Q. I think it's put quite nicely here:
"Nothing lasts/life goes on/full of surprises/you'll be faced with problems/of all shapes and sizes/you're going to have to make a few compromises/for now.../but only for now..."
Yes, it's prevalent. Yes, it's daily. Yes, it's a pain to deal with. But it's inevitable. About ten years ago, the mountains to the west of my hometown of Los Alamos, NM were consumed by a forest fire (and so were many, many homes). This past weekend, I was driving with my mom through these burned mountains. We commented on how amazing it is that everything is so green now, life is thriving, and the only real evidence that there was ever a fire was the skeletons of trees sticking out of the green, growing earth. As we continued east towards our house, we had to drive through part of Bandelier National Forest, which had its own fire about twenty-five years ago. There, even the burned trees had fallen and been overgrown. There, there's practically no evidence that just twenty-five years go, the earth was black, charred, and dead. We remarked not only on how miraculous it was that nature finds a way to grow and regenerate in an area that seemed lifeless and hopeless, but that it's really a cleansing process, in the end. The forests get so congested with growth that sometimes the only solution is to "clean house," and begin again.
Perhaps this is what I have experienced in this past year. I've been piling too much on, taking on too many ideas and possibilities, and entertaining too many choices that I lost sight of what I truly wanted to be looking for, and it was time to "clean house," as it were.
The death of my grandmother, the friends going crazy and psychopathic, the injustice of the job, the broken relationship, the violence, and the violation.... these are all ways that I'm being regenerated. Renewed. Cleansed, wiped clean, and prepared for whatever is to be grown next.
"Sunrise, sunset/sunrise, sunset/swiftly fly the years/one season following another/laden with happiness and tears." --Fiddler on the Roof